Guilty as Charged
I was raised Catholic so I know a little something about guilt. Granted, much of my religious upbringing didn’t stick or I wouldn’t be a femdom with the blog you are currently reading. I’m what you might call a “recuperated catholic,” but I, up until very recently, suffered from residual chronic guilt. I felt guilt for all I had, all I did or didn’t do, or felt I should want or need to make myself do.
No matter how many times my more rational, logical side countered the mean inner judge in my head I still had this lingering sense of not being “good” enough, moral enough or caring enough. It was fucking exhausting! There is no magic cure. I still do on occasion feel these slight pangs the only thing that has changed isn’t the result of some wonderful clarity bestowed upon me during a dark night of the soul.
Running with the Devil
No, you can’t outsmart or outrun your inner demons. However you can run with them. I now give in to my deep lust for sex and intimacy. I let myself cave into the craving I have for experiencing the wonders of human connection and carnality. Here’s what I learned, sometimes guilt can be an erotic accelerant to fuel the flames of desire. When something seems taboo it seasons the seduction with added vivacity.
I now see the virtue in my vice and if that makes me a bad girl then I guess I’m guilty as charged! 😉