A little while back I did a talent search post called “Fiona’s Follies”  and a classified ad on tumblr & EE to drum up our kinky community’s artistic streak since it’s quite evident just how talented you all are.

Honarable Mentions

Competition was fierce. I had a pet juggle Ben Wa balls on cam,  an off the cuff a cappella  rendition of “My Sharona” or in this version, “My Fiona”  serenaded to me on a phone session, and many, many sounds of stroking edgers trying to beat their best averages flitting in and out of my ears in the past few weeks.

However what set the winner apart was not just the enthusiasm infused lyrics coupled with creative witticisms that capture the ultimate panty boy experience but also the fact that its clever clarity made me laugh and I still smile when I read it. It truly pleases me as a mistress & that’s priceless as well as greatly appreciated.

2nd Place


By Matthew

F is for feline-like flexibility in your picture poses

I is for your incredible voice spilling from lips like roses

O is for all the endless orgasms you set on fire

N is for the naughty thoughts you inspire

A is for the amazing energy that never seems to tire


To the tune of “Damn It Feels Good To Be A Gangsta”

By Shel Satinstein

Damn it feels good to wear my panties

because my panties are so sexy and soft.
It’s a party in my pants when I wear them
because they are cut from a different cloth
Damn it feels good to wear my panties
because my panties are skimpy little thongs.
I feel like a bitch with the straps on my hips

when I wear my panties all day long

Damn it feels good to wear my panties

I think that’s what you want me to say

Damn it feels good to wear my panties
I think about it night and day


Congrats!!! Free 10 mins added to your next call Mr. Shel Satinstein 😉

Great job everyone! Now for all of you that missed the deadline or didn’t make it to the winner’s circle, have no fear. This was so thoroughly entertaining I will most definitely be doing more talent searches in the future. Thanks to all my applicants. Each one of you is astounding.